A home’s ultimate and often overlooked purpose, aside from being a shelter, is to prompt our memory as to who we are and what our fundamental truths entail. By making a connection to the space, we can access the wisdom that lies within its walls to help us become the best we can be. This can be a life-changing experience for us as the occupants as well as for the home. One way to easily make this connection is by writing to your home.
I started a “House Journal” many years ago in which I would write to our home. I would write about ideas for improvement – everything from new pillows for the sofa to remodeling the bathroom, color ideas, etc. I would refer back to it from time to time if I wanted to refresh my memory as to what I had in mind for those new pillows or that bathroom remodel. For sure, every New Year I would write a letter to my house discussing the past year’s changes and some proposed upcoming ones. I would feel into those future changes to see if I felt any resistance or, in many cases, a new and better idea. Writing to my house became something I looked forward to as I hardly ever put the journal down without some insight, big or small. It became a true conversation between me and this place I loved.
I’ve encouraged clients and students to also try writing to their homes. It may be they write once and call it good; sometimes it becomes a regular exercise to help them get through a challenge, whether the challenge was personal or specific to the home. I can assure you that you will find your home is a ready participant in communicating with you.
If you want to write to your home, make it a special event with uninterrupted time (about 20 minutes). I suggest you acquire a House Journal as well where all your letters and ideas about the space will be kept. I used a special pen for these letters. For a while I used the numbers in my address to address the space (Dear 901), but don’t be surprised if a name or descriptor pops up. Using “Dear Home” is okay as well.
If you need a place to start, elaborate on the phrases “What I love about you is…” or “My favorite time with you is…” or “I regret that…” Mention some upcoming changes you’d like to make to your home. Feel into a reaction from the space in regard to these changes. End by writing “Thank you for…“ and “I’ll be in touch” or “Til next time.” Then sign your name.
There are no set rules as to how often you need to write to your home, but I suggest you make it a regular practice for a time, particularly if you are having some difficulties with your space. Getting to know it better may also help you anticipate a problem thereby avoiding some unexpected disaster.
After 29 years, my husband and I moved from the home we loved so much. The house offered gentle but persistent hints that it was time for us to move along. And, just as important, that it was time for the house to make its own changes. Our new place is lovely and very accommodating, but, like making new friends, it has taken me some time to feel comfortable enough to write to it. Soon enough, I know the relationship will blossom. I await the reverence and insights I had with our prior space to come forth in this new one.
Next time: How to talk to your home when you don’t like it.
Carole – CAROLEHYDER.COM